By temperment, which is the real law of God, many men are goats and can’t help committing adultery when they get a chance; whereas there are numbers of men who, by temperment, can keep their purity and let an opportunity go by if the woman lacks in attractiveness.
-Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, dropping red pill wisdom in the early 20th century
The modern sexual marketplace is driven overwhelmingly by females’ sexual needs, not males’. A place where this fact is evident is the college campus. Girls who are decent, but not exceptionally attractive enjoy hooking up with high status alpha males, like star athletes, frat bros, and those perceived to be in positions of power (frat president?) and money (rich parents). These girls enjoy their ability to hook up with high status guys simply because they are young and nubile and therefore desirable. There is very little work involved in order for a woman to slut it up in college, unless you consider it ‘work’ to go to a bar and bat the eyelashes. As for guys who are not so high status, and lack game? They take what is left. They accept fat acceptance and rationalize that they are with a girl because her personality is better than all of those other, hotter girls. These guys put hotties on pedestals and beta orbit them, hoping to use the friendzone orbit to get close enough to hook up with them. We all know they get promptly and awkwardly rejected at some point. These poor saps simply have no idea how they can create attraction in the eyes of women. They lack a strong, masculine frame and a lucrative job, they are out of shape, and they don’t have the edgy attitude that girls want. The average man doesn’t develop these sexy qualities until a bit later in life. This creates a disparity. Once they can finally attract women who are hot, they are in a long term relationship and unable to hook up with hotter women without cheating.
I hope Rollo won’t mind if I employ his graph of the modern sexual market place to illustrate the situation:
Given that this graph is accurate, it is easy for men to get slightly bitter from a pure self-interest standpoint that they were never able to maximize their SMV in the hookup world, whereas women were. Average age for women getting married is about 27, and for men it’s 29, so we are both getting married at about the same age give or take. Women are free to slut it up in their prime years (18-23), as many do, whereas males who get married pass up their prime years of value (30s) by getting married. This is why a lot of guys end up cheating on their wives right around this age. It’s the middle age crisis. It’s an existential realization that, hey, I’m aging like a fine wine and a lot of women that I didn’t have sexual access to in years past are finding me attractive. Should I indulge? I mean, I only live once, right?
To sum up, average women are able to have fun in their peak years (ride the carousal with high status men), but the average man is wifed up during his prime years, and often spending his younger years pretending that he enjoys hooking up with moderately good-looking girls as much as he would with real hotties.
This trend is concerning, as I want to have a wife and kids some day, yet I would probably fall into this category. I consider cheating Don Draper style on one’s wife to be one of the worst things you can do to someone you have decided to build a life with. Growing up, I always have looked at men who cheat on their wives at that age with a bitter scorn. This is inpart because of one of my high school friends’ Dad. Jen, a girl that I beta-orbited during high school’s dad ended up having an entirely different apartment, car, life, and (surprise!) younger, hotter girlfriend in the city whilst he was seemingly ‘happily’ married to Jen’s mom. Jen found this out when she was 19 and it completely shattered her worldview. She started slutting it up bigtime. My reaction was, “Jen’s dad is such an asshole, I will never cheat on my wife if that if it is the last thing I do. I could never do that to my kids and to her.”
But alas, the sexual marketplace is a place where hearts are broken, and the laws of biology trump our manufactured concept of ‘true love.’ Chris Rock said “A man is only as faithful as his best option.” Who really knows how they would act in that situation? How do I know that her dad wasn’t getting stood up for sex by her mom for years and finally said to hell with it? And now Jen hates her dad.
So, Jen’s dad was demonized for embracing his prime value in the sexual marketplace, while Jen’s mom could have been a big slut in college and he would have been expected to just forget that, since it’s in the past.
Now, this is a simplification of a very complex situation. Jen’s dad could have been a huge slut in college also. Jen’s mom could have been virtuous. Whatever. My point is simply that in the modern, natural male sexuality is overly demonized, whereas women are empowered to do what they want during their peak years.
These are averages, and as humans we are not bound by our biological urges, thankfully. But a quick glimpse at modern western society shows how much of a self indulgent culture we have become and gives us an idea of where we are headed. We want what we want, and we want it now. Why not self-indulge? YOLO.
I want this food/beer/TV show/sex/porn and I want it now. I don’t want to have to wait. Three minutes later you are done eating/drinking/watching/having sex/masturbating and all you’re left with is your dick in your hand and a vague feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
This is our culture. From the moment a person is born now, he is inundated with this very message of self-indulgence. Join Match.com and you’ll be happy. Drink a coca cola and you’ll be happy. Have a Miller and you’ll be happy. Watch MTV and you’ll get the latest, best entertainment. None of it works longterm. It’s all surface level indulgence.
My Grandpa and Grandma would have been damned to hell before they got a divorce. They’ve been married for over 60 fucking years. Just wasn’t something that was an option. Now though, YOU come first. Yes, I am talking to YOU, reader. YOUR happiness. Newsflash: marriage was NEVER all hot sex and passion. Getting married to the same person and staying together for a long time isn’t going to be easy, no matter HOW compatible you are with your significant other. The difference is that many of our generation puts our own happiness first, before those of our kids. Our consumerist culture trains us to do so. And sexual contentment is something that is always on the human brain. Hooking up with an attractive man or woman is a good feeling. It is validating. It is in our nature. The way sluttiness is trending, both men and women are going to have to become a lot more okay with their partner having had a high number of sexual partners before them and maybe during them. This goes against the grain of conventional manosphere wisdom. But it’s just something I don’t see changing. Girls are gonna enjoy their early 20s, guys are gonna be more desired later in life. There is no easy solution. Well, a threesome with your wife and a young hottie, maybe?
Technological advances (hookup apps) + birth control (no age for more after pill law passed) + 3rd wave feminism = lots of sluttiness, lots of self indulgence. Goddamn are we headed for some interesting times as a society.