The discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions (e.g., ideas, beliefs, values, emotional reactions) simultaneously is known as cognitive dissonance. For example, a child who has only seen olive skinned mexicans may think all mexicans are olive skinned. Then one day his mother points out a red-haired mexican, which briefly forces the child into a state of discomfort until he determines that either 1) my mom told me a lie or 2) my old worldview was flawed and mexican gingers do exist (they do).
Another classic example: if your longterm girlfriend will only have sex with you with the lights off in the missionary position and then you find a video of her up on red tube getting gang banged from when she was on spring break, you will experience a brief period of cognitive dissonance as you attempt to rationalize what you just saw. Initially your brain will attempt to explain away the situation without changing your worldview, asking questions like, “Maybe she has an identical twin she hasn’t told me about,” or “Photoshop does amazing things these days,” before you accept that yes, it is actually her. When you realize that your madonna is also a whore it can make you spit up your beer at first.
Or there is the classic college graduate realization that you just spent over 100k to get a liberal arts degree that everyone told you you needed, then graduated to a shitty 9-5 and found out that your expensive degree-looking piece of paper does not entitle you to a happy life.
The thing about cognitive dissonance is that, although uncomfortable, it is necessary for growth to occur. When you are in love with ‘the one,’ break up, and then not only realize but truly internalize the fact that oh shit, there isn’t just one person for me in this world, because their can’t be, you grow from it. Rational Male had a terrific post not too long ago about how those who shy from new experiences find themselves trapped in the adolescent skill set. Yes, it sucks to break up for a little while, but afterwards you realize that it is time to move on. The trick is not to wallow in your own self pity–get to the gym, read some books, focus on bettering yourself, and move on to the next one. Hate your job? Instead of whining, start building a new skill set that will get you into a better situation. At least get a side project.
Mental growth is analogous to physical. In the weight room you destroy your muscles so they recover and become stronger. Mental and life growth is similar: you must break your worldview down in order to build it back up. The most important thing to remember about CD is that it is temporary. Push through the pain and get the ball rolling on your new experiences, don’t run away from them.
The manosphere one of those places where CD is commonplace for the new reader. Any neophyte of game blogs or the godfathers will likely be so entrenched in the fem matrix that he cannot stomach reading Rollo Tomassi rolling the shit out of a shaky feminist argument without having anti-misogyny instinct warning bells going off in his head. The voice speaks to you: who do these assholes think they are, posting misogynist stuff like this? It truly makes you uncomfortable to read about fat shaming.
A close self examination will reveal that this attitude results from of his
money burning party liberal arts degree, pop culture, too many awful (not necessarily female) public school teachers.
For a while I resisted unplugging. I tried to believe that my previous worldview worked, that women like to be treated like princesses and not gamed. My worldview might have survived, were it not for one big and sometimes uncomfortable thing: the truth. I’ve seen too many of my friends get AFC’d by girls they pedastalized, too many boys overmedicated for ADHD. I’m trying not to come off as bitter here, because I’m really not. The societal pendulum forever swings back and forth. I am just one of those fortunate enough to see the matrix and be aware the third wave as it is happening. Welcome to Young Man Red Pill. Let the unplugging begin.
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Frost had some great thoughts a while back on the first post (even though he ironically ended up abandoning that blog and going back to Freedom 25). Sometimes it’s fun to blog random addresses and check out the blog graveyard…the blogosphere is littered with authors who put up one or two posts and then abandon their pursuit. My post topic today led me to check out cognitive dissonance.wordpress.com, a perfect example of the former.
Speaking of parties, it’s friday.