A frog put in warm water that is slowly increased to a boil will die. A frog that jumps directly into a pot of boiling water, however, will jump right back out.
For most guys who take the time to blog and comment in the manosphere, I feel like they needed a moment where they felt like they had just jumped into a pot of boiling society. This is the story about how I (Keanu) found the manosphere/red pill, or more accurately how it found me.
My first ‘red pill’ moment was reading Tucker Max when I was 22 and dating a girl who I was very in love with, but with whom I never felt like I was sexually free, or comfortable enough with her to do anything I wanted. We had been going out for over a year, and I still could not even get her to have doggie style sex with me. This was a big deal to me.
Like a lot of guys I’m sure, my first thought after finishing I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell was “It’s official. Assholes have awesome sexual experiences with girls.” It was cognitive dissonance at its finest: I had thought up until that moment that the way to get the girl of my dreams was to buy her flowers, and act really nice around her. Meanwhile Tucker was…well we all know how much ass he was getting. I loved my girlfriend but…goddamn it the world didn’t make sense any more somehow. My gf wouldn’t even have sex with me doggie style, only missionary…how was it that with the woman I loved and was supposedly completely comfortable with would only want missionary style sex with me, yet Tucker was able to be a huge asshole and bone everything in sight from every angle? Had my gf been like this with other guys, I wondered, or just me?
This tipped off an intellectual adventure which has been going strong now for almost four years. I read everything I could get my hands on about evolutionary psych, stuff like The Moral Animal, Richard Dawkins, Sperm Wars, Sex at Dawn to name a few. I moved to rural Latin America for two years where I lived like Henry David Thoreau. I experienced being a part of gender roles that we now in modern (American) society call ‘antiquated.’ Men were generally manly and did the heavy lifting and worked in the fields, while women took care of babies, treasured their virginity until they lost it with their husband, with some exceptions of course. Suddenly, I was looking back at U.S. culture with an objective lens. And things seemed weird-looking. My boiling water moment.
Oblivious that there was this thing called the ‘manosphere’ developed and living with no internet for those two years, I still had a sinking feeling about gender relations back in the U.S., that they had moved far away from true masculinity. I thought about applying to grad school to do gender studies. (hahaha, yea, I really thought that) The earliest articulation of what I felt that I saw was “brocism,” a term coined by a site many probably don’t remember to talk about bro haters. Why did I think ‘brocism’ was real?
Well, at my liberal arts college which was 70% girls, faculty constantly demonized fraternities for…well they are not sure what for still, mostly because we were male. Meanwhile all of my (male) friends and I made (and continue to make) an effort that is well above the average person to try to make the world a better place in real, measurable terms. Friends of mine were accused of date rape by their psycho, drunken girlfriends and their reputations were tarnished. I reflected on how I had lost my own virginity, and, whaddya know, I was evidently raped myself by some people’s definition.
Meanwhile the program I worked for was all about implementing international ‘gender equality,’ and by that it meant to make learning more accessible for girls. Little problem though: In the incredibly low income schools where I was placed, the vast majority of the failing students were male. A low, low, low percentage of the high school grads were male. I worked with literacy in the elementary and middle schools and discovered how much better the girls were at sitting still and thus able to pay attention and learn things. There was no ADHD medicine for these people. I felt bad for the boys. They were yelled at the most, and the education system was set up least of all for their success.
Then a year ago, I read my first manosphere blog post through google. It was a review of Tucker’s last book by Frost. For better or for worse, I have been voraciously devouring everything in the sphere. It’s addicting sometimes, and I’ve tried to give it up, but I can’t. Sometimes I feel like being a proponent in the sphere is just the male version of being a feminist whiner. But then I read a post by CH or RM and I am reminded how goddamn sensible and intuitive so much of the advice is in the sphere. Game describes human nature too accurately to be dismissed. In a world that is becoming increasingly politically correct, the manosphere is a voice of reason. It is the intellectual club of the 21st century, a movement toward logic and destroying pretty lies.
So that’s why I took the red pill, or became interested in this movement, whatever you call it. There have been good nights and bad, but in the end, I feel like I have a set of beliefs that accurately describe the world around me, which is what I preference above most other things.