11. You always break eye contact first, when talking to women or men.
10. You’d rather bitch and complain than confront the core of a problem.
9. You’re passive aggressive, similar to a stereotypical sorority sister.
8. You sit on the couch all day, every day, and play video games.
7. You would never think of approaching an attractive woman. In fact, you figure that if a girl likes you enough she’ll come talk to you.
6. You check your phone continuously to see if that one girl you messaged texted you back.
5. You are afraid to take control in the bedroom and/or make the first move without a woman’s clear permission.
4. You’re afraid to date more than one woman at a time.
3. You creep on OkayCupid profiles all day but don’t send many messages.
2. You are are really into older women of mediocre attractiveness aka “cougars.”
1. You p**k fatties. And you like it.
Thanks for playing.