I don’t claim to be a top alpha dog PUA guru who bangs hordes of women (though I’ve had my fair share, almost all of them before I learned about game).
I’m just a guy who thinks that society is at an all time high in terms of the bullshit you are supposed to buy into.
Today, I am going to address the topic of the expression of masculinity in the U.S.
Masculinity: pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men.
There are two separate narratives of what the ideal masculine is in today’s society. One is a lie, the other is the truth.
The Blue Pill version of masculinity tells us:
1) Boys who are distracted from boring elementary/high school classes should be medicated.
2) Men should not fight.
3) Men should not pee outside.
4) Men should be docile and submissive to their wives and corporations.
5) Men should open doors and pay for dates.
6)Men should not hit on girls; that is ‘creepy.’
7) Hooking up with a slightly buzzed girl, even if you yourself are too drunk to consent, is rape and your fault.
8) Lifting weights is ‘so cliché. ’ You are such a typical bro, Bro!
Essentially, in the blue pill narrative, most things that men want to do or that makes them feel good, they shouldn’t do it. This is the suppression of the true masculine (in males).
Red Pill Masculinity:
1) ADHD is over-diagnosed for boys.
2) Fighting and physical escalation is a natural expression of men’s rage which has been around for 1000’s of years.
3) Men should display their dominance.
4) There is no need for chivalry if your end goal is to get laid and not LGBF’d.
5) Men should be the main provider in the family, at the very least making more money than the wife.
6) Hit on girls to your heart’s content; although they will not tell you this, females are aching to be conquered by a proper, masculine man of value.
7) Lift some weights and eat some steaks, you pussy.
My take: Masculinity is one of the topics that hits close to home for me. Or more accurately, its suppression hits close to home. I went to an EXTREMELY feminist school. Has to be one of the top 3 in the nation. Allow me to explain:
There were always pictures of women dead from abortions to make sure everyone there remained pro-choice. People (Gender and Women’s studies majors who ran the school newspaper) made a fuss about how all of the physics and math majors were male. Then they complained that it was sexist that the bathrooms in the physics and math hallway were male, and the females had to walk alllllllll the way to the other wing (50 feet) to find a female bathroom. Obviously this lack of bathrooms was why so few girls at the school were choosing STEM fields!! Damn you, Evil Patriarchy!
There was a 30/70 male/female split at the school. Unfortunately, about 5% of the girls were what I would consider bangable sans beer goggles. And that 5% typically knew they were in the top 5%.
I knew this guy who was cleaning up with pussy. Swimming in it. I was dumbfounded, because he looked like this:
Then I found out his angle…majoring in gender and women’s studies and marxism. Your stereotypical male feminist. To his credit the guy was DAMN smart, or at least damn good at regurgitating back to liberal professors the shit they wanted to hear to get straight A’s. And he was using his smarts to get attractive gender & women’s studies majors to blow him. Well played, I guess. That’s masculinity in the 21st century for you!
My college could be the poster child for a higher institution organization where feminists can say whatever they want about how shitty guys are, and get away with it, while men could not say shit about women lest they be labeled misogynist. This was not men learning to be masculine. This was men learning to fear their own masculinity. In one class, I remember semi-consciously acting more effeminate so the teacher would not discriminate against me, since she had a known reputation for hating frat-boy partiers, which I was. I would wear my glasses to class, cross my legs like a girl or hipster, and speak as gay-academic sounding as I could muster. I got an A- in that class, putting in very little effort. Looking back at this, I would slap my 20 year old self in the face for being such a pussy and dealing with this professors crap.
The year after I graduated, two men were removed from the administration (Deans), one for not having taken a sexual assault grievance seriously enough, and another for allegedly sexually harassing a female student. Of course, in both of these cases, these men were asked to step down without any sort of investigation or trial. It was just more of an ‘uhhhh well there is this thing people are accusing you of, eh maybe it’s true maybe not, well why don’t you just step down? You have a penis, you’re probably guilty in some way, let’s face it.’
I spoke with a few smart female friends who knew the details around the incidents, and they all said that these girls who had accused the Deans were ‘dumb’ and ‘batshit crazy,’ and ‘what a shame, those guys were great deans, rocks of the school administration.’
Well, they are gone now, replaced with women.
After college I went to Latin America for 2 years. I lived in a land where men were actually rewarded for masculine qualities, like strength, dominance, and providing for their family, and where my host mom would get ANGRY at me if I started to wash my own clothes. I didn’t understand; it made her happy to wash my clothes…wasn’t she worried that she was being oppressed or something? Then it clicked: Women could actually be happy expressing femininity…as males could embrace their true masculinity.
Some of my American female friends were subjected to stuff that I would clearly be considered harassment and they could do nothing about it. Like when my friend’s principal asked her, “So Jessica, can I please have a moment of sex with you?” every time when they were alone in the school she taught at. Alright, I can see how that is fucking uncomfortable. But, the dude got away with it. He was married.
But a series of experiences over a couple of years abroad made me realize: In the U.S. our version of ‘acceptable masculinity for men’ is worlds apart from what it is in other cultures. Our masculinity is culturally constructed. I even proceeded to write a narrative book about this subject on my current transformation, before I had ever heard of the manosphere. I was 70 pages in, before discovering the manosphere with a google search one day. It was not coincidence that a group of men had already elaborated their thoughts on what I was feeling myself, and putting forth a dialogue on what exactly it means to be masculine any more.
The bottom line is this: in America, many qualities of masculinity are suppressed, as men are told from an early age that their urges are wrong. This is why the manosphere exists. It is why some guys decide to become pussy-slaying PUAs who pump and dump girls. They lack an appropriate outlet for the expression of their masculinity.
Things are only going to get more interesting as women surpass men in income and power, while we continue to talk about the oppression of ‘glass ceilings’ and as a result make social structures more female friendly, ostracizing males. One of my new favorite bloggers, Blunt Monkey, sums it up pretty well:
SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. For generations, women struggle to achieve economic equality with men. Men resist this obvious challenge to their supremacy. Then, in the past decade, the economy falls apart and women finally supplant men in access to resources. The result? Women are getting married later, if at all, to less desirable men; Men are having more casual sex, with more and hotter women, an activity which helps them fill the hours between getting drunk and playing their Xbox since they don’t have to work anymore.
There is only one word to describe this: Hilarious.
So what will our new version of masculinity be? It is still, largely undefined in the 21st century, as men struggle with their declining economic and institutional power.