Holiday Special: Why You Should Give Your Boyfriend a Box for Christmas

Ladies, today we are going to talk about something that you hopefully are already very well aware of.  Your box.  Although guys might not always express it, a pretty box is very important to us.  More important than you think.  I am going to give you a very concrete example from my own life that illustrates just how much you need to treasure that gift you have.

Recently, I was at a wedding for the best friend of my gf. It was a super traditional affair, as both the bride and groom came from very religious families.  The wedding ceremony was Greek Orthodox so there was not even any music. After attending such a conservative church ceremony, I was somewhat surprised (eh, well not really) to learn that one of the underlying forces that brought this couple together to be wed on this day was the bride’s box.  Allow me to explain.

On the day of the wedding I went up to the hotel room where the bride and all of her bridesmaids were getting ready for the dinner.  I arrived and my gf was there: “Thank god you’re here.  We’ve been talking about boxes nonstop for the last 2 hours.  Evidently Jennifer has just an amazing one. These girls can’t stop talking about it.”

So that was kind of weird to me. But whatever, right?  Probably just some fluffy bridesmaid talk to pass the time and make Jennifer less nervous.

Nope.  Her box was…well, legendary according to everyone I talked to that day.  One of my best bros from high school knew the groom really well from college. He gave me the dirty on how the groom first fell for the bride:

BroFriend: “I remember the first night Greg hooked up with Jennifer back sophomore year of college.  When he got back to the dorms, he couldn’t stop talking about how amazing her box was.  Bro, that’s what made him fall for her initially.  I shit you not. I’m not saying Jennifer’s not a great girl obviously, but he was obsessed with her box for the longest time”

Me: “Ahahaha.  So her BOX was the spark for this whole relationship??? That is great.  Dude, you HAVE to tell that story when it comes time to make a toast.  Do you know what she has??? Landing strip? Shaved?  Wild Forest?  Dude she’s SHAVED, isn’t she??? I mean, the rest of her body is so hairless! Tell it!!!  Everyone will die laughing.  If you don’t I will.”

BroFriend: “Haha dude fuck you.  I’ll kill you. DO NOT say shit about this conversation”

No, I could not convince him to tell the story of Jennifer’s beautiful box.  But there it was, right beneath the surface of this whole ornate wedding ceremony.  The reality was this: if Jennifer’s box wasn’t so beautiful, she probably wouldn’t have been walking down the aisle with Greg. A lifelong commitment sparked by…a box. I know, makes guys seem pretty superficial, right?  Well, fucking newsflash: guys fall in love more easily with girls who are hot.  One way to be hot? Have an awesome box.

Yes, she used her box to reel him in.  And ladies, if I may, Greg is exactly the kind of guy you want.  He’s super down to earth (but he’s got that slight edge you need;). He has a great job and comes from a great family.  He is super happy to start having kids. Now as Jennifer has a bunch of student loan (read: law school) debt and she can’t currently find a job in this shitty market, he is even paying for it. Some might say it’s a sugar daddy situation but you know what?  Even if it kind of is, she fucking earned it.  She’s a great girl, she’s loyal to him, and, above all, she knew how to harness the power of the box while its stock was at a high.  I hope she is rocking out with her box out today as they celebrate their first Christmas as a married couple.

So ladies, if you are still trying to think of that a minute gift for that special someone, I highly suggest putting your box in a box for Christmas (Also appropriate on flag day).  Everyone involved will be glad you did.

What is your experience with a beautiful box?  Did it tip the scale?  Email me your box thoughts at youngmanredpill [at] gmail [.] com.

One response to “Holiday Special: Why You Should Give Your Boyfriend a Box for Christmas

  1. Pingback: The Virginity Losing Aftermath | Young Man Red Pill·

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